22 May, 2008

Why Am I Home Right Now?

One might wonder, what is a young, single girl who claimed to have a mystery date tonight doing sitting on the sofa watching How Do I Look?

Well, that is indeed a good question.

I was on the way, getting gas to fuel the drive into Atlanta to be exact, when the random gas station attendant walks up to me and says "Ma'am, your right front tire is a little low on air, you might want to check on that."

So, I walk around and look...and....half flat.

Shit.

So I go home and try to make the roomie convince me that it's ok, and a little air will fix the problem. But we both know better and she looks at me and says "Well, if you put some air in it, you can probably make it down there....(and.....fade to black.)".

What she's really saying is: "Girlfriend I know you you are trying to be upbeat and you're all dressed up to go meet the new guy, but that bitch is flat and you need to stay home and let my honey fix it for you tomorrow."

So, I stay home, and here I sit, very cute, in a lovely green dress all make-uped up and yummy smelling, dining on Chick-Fil-A.

Hi World? Remember when I asked you to be a little sweeter to me? I meant that sincerely...

So stop being a bitch. Bless your little heart.

Thanks.

Oh! And. I call Mr. Text to cancel and he was nice enough about it. But three things:

1. He's very Buckhead. You may not understand that if you are not from Atlanta, but it means he seems like the dress to impress, metro-sexual, salesman type. Buckhead men and I don't tend to get along too well.

2. He (aside from only communicating via text) texted me earlier asking if we could push it back an hour. Uhm. CALL, you Buckhead ass!

3. During my actual call to tell him about my flat, he said something along the lines of "Well, I guess I could go up there, but you know, it's Kennesaw....." As if because I live slightly north of the city, I'm not good enough for the drive. (Atlanta has this weird Inside the Perimeter versus Outside the Perimeter thing....whole other subject.)

So anyways, I'm really, really trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but he has struck a small nerve in me. So I've given him a new nickname, other than Mr. Text. The man is 6'5", so his new name is....

Big Texticles.

3 comments:

Fianna said...

I am sitting here, 7:47 AM, sipping on coffee, reading your post. Now, I am sitting here with coffee spewed over my screen at Mr. Big Texticles. Thanks.

I am not into metro men, either. I tend to make fun of them, to them, which is not very endearing. I like a lot of man in my man. That sounds dirty. I didn't quite mean it that dirty.

Maybe the universe was communicating something about this Mr. Text.

Anyway, thanks for the morning laugh!!

Jennie! said...

Text messaging is my biggest pet peeve about dating. OK, that's probably not true, but text messaging HAS made men even lazier.

Sauntering Soul said...

Mr. Texticles...ha ha ha!!!!

I would last about 2 seconds on a date with a Buckhead guy (and since I work in Buckhead I'm surrounded by them which doesn't make me happy). The metro thing is a complete turn off to me.

As you know, I live Inside the Perimeter and it's all I can do to make myself drive to Kennesaw (I have a very good friend who lives off Hwy 5 which is almost to Kennesaw). I rented a room in her house when I was going through my divorce so I used to drive back and forth from there every single day. I don't really know what my problem is but it may be because my 5 mile commute ITP already takes me close to 45 minutes so the thought of driving a lot more than 5 miles make me develop a tic.

Sorry your date didn't work out last night, but I hope y'all meet up with each other soon!