20 November, 2007


Last night I was having my first phone conversation with a new guy from Internet Dating Service of Choice. We'll call him Ross. Ross is nice enough, but a little awkward and makes the occasional inappropriate joke, for a first conversation.

Me: Well, it didn't work out for us, but he was nice enough.
Ross: Man, you just throw guys away, huh?
Me: No, I just wasn't attracted to him.
Ross: Poor dude.
Me: Well, I can give you his MySpace name, if you want to be his friend. You know, if you are feeling sorry for him.
Ross: Uhm, no thanks, I don't eat sausage.

Really? Did he really say that? He did, but I can chalk that up to nerves and the awkwardness of the first call. Right? So we continue on with the conversation. We're talking about my kitty and pets in general and I ask him if he has any.

Me: So, do you have pets.
Ross: Yeah, I do.
Me: So.....what do you have?
Ross: It's not normal. Not many people have what I have.

(Side note - it is never good to hear a man say that. RED. FLAG.)

Me: Well, are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?
Ross: I'll give you three guesses. If you don't guess it, you have to come to my house to find out.
Me, thinking: Ha! This guy thinks he is being coy and tricking me into a date.
Me: Fine. A Ferret?
Ross: No!
Me: A Chinchilla?
Ross: Nooooo!
Me: A monkey? My mom had monkeys when she was little. But like the kind that are illegal now, you could mail order them back in the 60s.
Ross: *snickers*
Me: So you have a monkey.
Ross: Yes, I have monkeys.
Me: You have more than one?
Ross: Eight.
Me: You have eight monkeys.
Ross: Yes. They have a room they live in. And no, I do not spank my monkeys.
Me: That thought had not even crossed my mind.

See? My life really is a sitcom.


Fianna said...

I am committing myself to comment when I read a post. Yet, I have no words. Normalcy?

Southern Doll said...

What is there to say about that? Nothing.